xx xxx

20-something gay lurker

Jul 9

all this bullshit on tumblr at the moment in the trans male community is making me incredibly happy to be a man with trans history who doesn’t feel the need to spend my time mocking, bullying and generally disrespecting trans-identified children, gender-questioning or genderfluid people, or people who make different medical transition decisions to me. or those who have different needs and comfort levels around their own bodies, as everybody does.

the tumblr trans community is not the world. if you feel alienated by it, try somewhere else, or form your own communities that aren’t based on hated and mockery of people who are reaching out to other people. you are making your own insecurity so blindingly obvious, and it’s painful to watch. there’s plenty of resources out there and the people investing time in mocking others clearly have the time to put into it, so why not try something productive? form your own communities that represent your needs. don’t attack what already exists as it must be providing solace / information / social space to somebody or it wouldn’t be there.

what’s funny is some of these guys would probably call me a ‘girl’ for the way i go about my life (not that i give a shit, as i’m far too beyond feeling insecure about my gender because of some internet trolls). but i’ve seen this time and time again. people were talking about ‘transtrenders’ like 5 years ago and it was boring then, too. and what’s even funnier is like half these people bitching about it probably were ‘transtrenders’ in someone else’s eyes 5 yrs ago. it’s such a boring cycle to see perpetuated over and over, and what’s sadder is it has a real effect on young / vulnerable trans or non-binary people who are looking for support and instead receive such harsh responses.

the reason you don’t find tons of post-transition guys on tumblr is because tumblr is the most public website ever, with such an emphasis on content-sharing. i wouldn’t dare share a face pic of myself or revealing details on here about my personal life, because it could end up anywhere. if you want online spaces or communities for stealth, male-identified trans people, try places with privacy, like livejournal, yahoo groups, closed forums, etc. if you speak to me privately, i can point you in the right direction of where these places exist as they aren’t as easy to find. you’re bound to feel like you’re outnumbered on a website which, trans community aside, is largely populated by younger teenagers anyway.

also, just a thought - maybe try going outside, investing time in your real life. become the person you want to be. instead of making it so abundantly clear over the internet what you’re not, and taking down whoever you want to try to prove it.


Jul 7

stonedgossard420:

its not that hard to understand that your brain is either male or female and if it had actually developed without a gender or between genders your mother wouldve had a miscarriage

that’s your scientific knowledge there, right? some people on tumblr make me laugh. have you ever heard of intersex people? if you can be physically intersex there’s nothing to prove that something similar can’t happen to your brain, if we’re working under the assumption that ‘brain sex’ exists anyway.

(via theotheropinion)


May 7

Young, Stealth and Post-Transition

dylanspencer:

fuckyeahftms:

I recently remade my Tumblr after deleting. I’m 18, 11 years transitioned, ~5 years on T. I consider my transition to be akin to a medical condition or birth defect.

Just thought I’d put myself out there in case anyone was curious about this perspective on things.

Just looked at this guy’s profile.  He transitioned at age seven and has been on T for about five years and is basically the poster boy for internalized transphobia.  This is really sad.  For someone to have so much privilege to perpetuate these kinds of ideas about what it means to be trans is really disappointing, and I’m a little confused about why “fuckyeahftms” would even post this submission — this guy doesn’t “fuck yeah” anything about being trans.

i don’t see why it isn’t okay to post the perspective of someone who isn’t hugely enthusiastic about being trans. if that is what it means to be trans to him, then fine. i think he’s talking from his own personal perspective and that shouldn’t be an issue. i don’t think it’s inherently transphobic to see your own transness as a medical condition as opposed to an identity… it is a condition that a lot of us treat medically. it would be unfair of fyftms mods to remove posts by people who saw their transness in this way - i think it’s okay for those of us who find our transsexualism a difficult thing to deal with, and not necessarily a celebrated part of our identities, to be represented as much as those who are loud and proud.

(via thatqueerblog-deactivated201211)


Jan 30

the “natural” transition

fuzzyhorns:

i consider my transition natural. sometimes i also consider it, favorably i might add, unnatural. but i never think of it as artificial.

it drives me a bit nuts when i see “natural” transition offered as an alternative to an allopathic model of transitioning. i don’t think allopathic medicine is ideal or even for the majority good, but that’s aside the point: how is what i’ve done unnatural?

the testosterone in my body is natural. the oil it’s suspended in, is natural. my masculinity, manhood, maleness, are all totally natural to me. every hair that popped out of my face and every muscle that grew, and every boner i’ve woken up with in the morning has all felt damn natural to me.

we are made out of chemicals folks. nobody would force diabetics to pursue a “natural” treatment of diabetes. i want to take a precise amount of testosterone, i want to know precisely how it is used in my body, and i want to get blood work to check my hemoglobin and shit sometimes. that’s all pretty rational, but i don’t see rationality as mutually exclusive with the natural.

dislike is too gentle a term for the feeling i have towards the system of gatekeepers in allopathic medicine. i could go on and on about that. but i don’t think the best alternative is to say pursue transition “naturally.” while i’d prefer to be independent of the medical industrial apparatus, i am also thankful that i know what’s in the chemistry i inject into my butt’s—and then my—chemistry every week.

anyway let’s hope someday such arguments become irrelevant since everyone will have a basic medical education, be able to safely modify their bodies as they wish, and not have a huge complex about being unnatural. :d

thank you for saying this.


Dec 24

Nov 23

Nov 21
purplegoesbothways:

moononwaters:

poisonpassion80:

notyourkinddear:

sugaredvenom:

b3hr:

fuckyeahftms:

Im Sebastian (: ftm ^-^ 13 years old (: I want friends . cuz im a loner with no friends. x3 

I’m sorry but you are the kind of people who give a bad name to the transgender, and more specifically, the ftm community.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say this to anyone, let alone a 13 year old, LET ALONE ONE WHO’S PUBLICLY ADMITTING TO NEEDING FRIENDS?!
Seriously, how dare you?

You know what kind of person gives a bad name to the community? People who talk shit about/bully 13 year olds who are looking for friends, and people who think they can judge other trans* people based on their looks and some obnoxious gender-conforming ideal. You know, people like b3hr… that’s who looks like an ass here.
Sebastian, you are absolutely adorable. Be yourself, and you will find real friends who accept you for who you are. <3

Yeah, what they said! :) <3

I am sorry, b3hr , but what exactly is giving ftms a bad name? Is it red hair? Or piercings? Please. Explain.
I’ll wait.


b3hr you are not sorry. If anyone is a disgrace to the trans community it is you. Read this article and open your fucking eyes. http://baaingtree.deviantart.com/art/The-Gated-Trans-Community-208076263?q=gallery%3Abaaingtree%2F11085755&qo=8
How dare you. How dare you?  Insulting a 13 year old kid that you don’t even know? Who the FUCK died and made you the gender police? Do you know why so many teenagers kill themselves? It is because of people like YOU, who tell them that they are fake, and don’t think for a second that just because you are trans doesn’t mean you’re exempt from being able to display this bigotry.
Just because you don’t agree with this kid’s gender expression does not give you the right to judge them and tell they are fake. Here’s an idea: When you don’t like somebodys gender expression then  keep it to yourself.
Again, you know who make the trans community look bad? Not kids like this, but cissexist, ignorant, gender policing bigots, and that includes you.

b3hr is just a guy who is obviously not secure in himself. i know how it feels because when i was a teenager and had only been transitioning a fairly short time, i had some similar internalised prejudices about people who seemingly made no effort to look masculine, although i was fortunately never the sort of person who would air them to anyone else. now many years later i know better and know how fucking irrelevant masculinity is to being male (saying this as a not particularly masculine gay man).
i think when you are perhaps not long transitioned, maybe people don’t take you seriously all the time, maybe you don’t always pass, you can take those insecurities about yourself and project them on other people. what’s even more disgusting in this case is that the person that has bared the brunt of the attacks here is a child.
calling someone a girl isn’t going to make you any more of a man, calling someone a faggot isn’t going to make you seem more masculine (it’ll just make you seem like an asshole trying to exercise their newfound straight boy privilege… always nice to have homophobia from trans men), bullying a child doesn’t make you tough. trans men, young, old, masculine and feminine, gay or straight, need to understand that the important thing to focus on is yourself. invalidating other people doesn’t make your gender any more valid. if you were secure in yourself and you were truly comfortable with who you were, you wouldn’t behave in this way. the bloggers who have attacked sebastian need to check themselves, urgently.

purplegoesbothways:

moononwaters:

poisonpassion80:

notyourkinddear:

sugaredvenom:

b3hr:

fuckyeahftms:

Im Sebastian (: ftm ^-^ 13 years old (: I want friends . cuz im a loner with no friends. x3 

I’m sorry but you are the kind of people who give a bad name to the transgender, and more specifically, the ftm community.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say this to anyone, let alone a 13 year old, LET ALONE ONE WHO’S PUBLICLY ADMITTING TO NEEDING FRIENDS?!

Seriously, how dare you?

You know what kind of person gives a bad name to the community? People who talk shit about/bully 13 year olds who are looking for friends, and people who think they can judge other trans* people based on their looks and some obnoxious gender-conforming ideal. You know, people like b3hr… that’s who looks like an ass here.

Sebastian, you are absolutely adorable. Be yourself, and you will find real friends who accept you for who you are. <3

Yeah, what they said! :) <3

I am sorry, b3hr , but what exactly is giving ftms a bad name? Is it red hair? Or piercings? Please. Explain.

I’ll wait.

b3hr you are not sorry. If anyone is a disgrace to the trans community it is you. Read this article and open your fucking eyes. http://baaingtree.deviantart.com/art/The-Gated-Trans-Community-208076263?q=gallery%3Abaaingtree%2F11085755&qo=8

How dare you. How dare you?  Insulting a 13 year old kid that you don’t even know? Who the FUCK died and made you the gender police? Do you know why so many teenagers kill themselves? It is because of people like YOU, who tell them that they are fake, and don’t think for a second that just because you are trans doesn’t mean you’re exempt from being able to display this bigotry.

Just because you don’t agree with this kid’s gender expression does not give you the right to judge them and tell they are fake. Here’s an idea: When you don’t like somebodys gender expression then  keep it to yourself.

Again, you know who make the trans community look bad? Not kids like this, but cissexist, ignorant, gender policing bigots, and that includes you.

b3hr is just a guy who is obviously not secure in himself. i know how it feels because when i was a teenager and had only been transitioning a fairly short time, i had some similar internalised prejudices about people who seemingly made no effort to look masculine, although i was fortunately never the sort of person who would air them to anyone else. now many years later i know better and know how fucking irrelevant masculinity is to being male (saying this as a not particularly masculine gay man).

i think when you are perhaps not long transitioned, maybe people don’t take you seriously all the time, maybe you don’t always pass, you can take those insecurities about yourself and project them on other people. what’s even more disgusting in this case is that the person that has bared the brunt of the attacks here is a child.

calling someone a girl isn’t going to make you any more of a man, calling someone a faggot isn’t going to make you seem more masculine (it’ll just make you seem like an asshole trying to exercise their newfound straight boy privilege… always nice to have homophobia from trans men), bullying a child doesn’t make you tough. trans men, young, old, masculine and feminine, gay or straight, need to understand that the important thing to focus on is yourself. invalidating other people doesn’t make your gender any more valid. if you were secure in yourself and you were truly comfortable with who you were, you wouldn’t behave in this way. the bloggers who have attacked sebastian need to check themselves, urgently.

(via youreoutofcontrolagain)


Nov 13

deleting this blog

onlyjxx:

hey all, I’m afraid there is a good chance I will be deleting this blog. I just hope that my followers will continue to spread awareness about bottom surgery. I’m just not feeling very good about the tumblr community right now. On top of the nasty messages I’ve gotten fairly regularly since starting this blog, I feel like this platform makes it easy for people who are reaching out to me to be misrepresenting themselves or straight up lying about things and that makes me very uncomfortable.

so sorry to hear this, wish you didn’t have to delete - this is a great resource and it’s really reassuring to have other post-transition guys around. good luck.

(via onlyjxx-deactivated20111114)


Nov 11

fleurdeadam:

ryancassata:

PART 3: TOP VS BOTTOM DYSPHORIA IN FTM TRANSGENDER/TRANSSEXUAL MEN

PART 1: http://ryancassata.tumblr.com/ post/12618362704/ftmsurvey

PART 2: http://ryancassata.tumblr.com/post/12623083140/part2 

THIS IS PART 3 

SURVEY INFO:

SURVEY INFORMATION: 

101 people were surveyed of all ages on November 9th, 2011 & November 10th, 2011. 

ONLY people who identified as female to male (FTM) transgender/transsexual were surveyed.  

The purpose of this survey was to prove that all transgender FTM people are different. We all have different goals, plans, and fears for/about transitioning. There is no right way to transition. There is no wrong way to transition. 

What is shocking to me is that most FTM people that took this survey were more fearful about how other transgender men would judge them vs. how society would judge them. This is something that we need to work on as a community. It’s sad that we have so much judgement inside of our own community. Accept all transgender FTM people even if they have a different method of transitioning. 

As you can tell by the survey no matter how you are transitioning or what choices you make it your transition there are other people out there making the same choices. Do not be afraid to be yourself.

Survey by Ryan O. Cassata (www.ryancassata.tumblr.com

Thank you to all who participated!  

I am really, really surprised by these results. My top is nowhere near as bad as bottom. 18% a flat out no?! Bottom dysphoria gives me fucking panic attacks and causes more fucking stress in my life than I can handle. I find it hard to fathom how you can have absolutely no bottom dysphoria if you are trans. No offense, I really just don’t comprehend.

that’s due to a wonderful thing called individuality! i’m most definitely trans and i probably fall into that 18% these days (although i didn’t participate in this survey). not that i feel like i have to justify myself, but because i feel like i’ll explain it from my perspective… i’ve been on t for 5 years now, i had surgery almost equally long ago, i’m very secure in myself as male and i’ve been living as such since i was a teenager. my genitals feel pretty irrelevant to my gender these days. i don’t see them as in conflict with the fact that i am a man. maybe a lot of society would, but i’m past the point of caring about that now.

couldn’t say the same for my chest pre-surgery, that was something i could never get my head around and caused me a lot of difficulty. but that’s just how it is - we’re all different. if we were all the same it’d be pretty weird. if anything i think we should be happy at least that 18% of guys don’t have to hate that part of their body, and that 3% are totally okay with their chest.

as someone who now doesn’t really have to deal with body dysphoria it’s a hell of a lot nicer this way… instead of questioning those people’s transness, maybe it’d be better just to think of the positives of the situation. we shouldn’t be hoping the figures are 100% for dysphoria. it’s a lot more preferable that people could possibly tolerate or maybe even like their bodies, surely.

(via pineapple-on-the-moon)


Oct 7

Anonymous said: sorry if this is a bit pushy but how was applying to college, since you transitioned early? did you end up checking "female" on the application but having your teacher recommendations, etc. with male pronouns? since i'm transitioning at 16, too, and am wondering about college and such.

i hadn’t legally changed my name when i applied because my parents were, at the time, unsupportive of any legal or medical changes and i was under 18. i applied under my legal name at the time as it was very specific about it having to be my legal name on the application.  as soon as the application had been accepted, i telephoned the university and informed a specific person of the situation. they removed any reference to my previous name from their systems and i was put in to normal male accommodation when that time came. by the time i got there i was on testosterone and had already had chest surgery, and as far as i know no one beyond that one member of administration was ever really aware of any previous names or anything. it made things a lot easier to have supportive administrative staff who clearly already had a protocol for this sort of situation. it may somewhat depend on your university.

so yes, in a word, it was fine, and relatively uneventful, beyond that phone call.


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