Anonymous asked: This is probably kind of weird, but just thought I'd put it out there. I found you through ftmconfessions, and thank you so much for helping to set people straight in their messed up perceptions of being 'stealth'.
I read through your blog a bit more and found the submission you made to transqueersxxx. Wow. That is quite the picture (but you know that)!
I am post transition and stealth, and don't have any sexual experience (with either gender). I would love to try experimenting with another guy, but I'm not sure it'll ever happen. I have too many insecurities about my body. Maybe post-bottom surgery, but probably not.
I just wanted to say that I commend you for taking control of your sexuality like that. I feel pretty stuck because I want to be sexual but don't feel like my body allows me that.
You don't have to post this to your blog, just wanted to send you a message. Cheers. And sorry if it's weird!
this isn’t weird at all and i hope you don’t mind me posting it, i just wanted to be able to reply.
i’m glad you appreciate my comments because i assume it must get annoying when i’m constantly the one replying to these things, but i can’t really understand how people can continue to be so ignorant. i don’t like to make assumptions but i do wonder how many of the people making these comments are post-transition - i think when trans stuff isn’t an immediate issue in your life any more, it’s not uncommon to start to feel quite a bit different about it all. i wonder how many people would still be saying these things if they had that experience… so i think it’s useful for someone actually living that experience to point out the flaws in their argument.
sorry to hear about your struggles with sex / your body. it’s not easy and i wasn’t always as comfortable as i was - i definitely internalised a lot of negativity about my body. i think part of the reason why i’ve turned out so confident is because i was lucky to date / sleep with a few guys early on who were gay but completely into my body, and that made me feel i guess a lot more validated, and from then i could just sort of build on that confidence. i imagine if i had faced a lot of rejection at that point it might have taken longer for me to feel okay about myself - i don’t know.
i think it’s really hard to just disregard any discomfort and insecurity and just go for it, but i’m really glad i did because i don’t think i would be anywhere near as into myself now if i hadn’t of shared my non-standard male body with other guys. don’t give up hope, anyway - you may feel like it’s not an option now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll feel the same way about your body forever. i don’t think i ever thought i’d actually like my body, but i really do. i think it’s possible for anyone to really, it just requires getting over some obstacles.
anyway, just wanted to reiterate that this wasn’t weird at all for you to say. if you have a tumblr account feel free to follow me or get in touch non-anon, if you like.